Because everyone needs a little jolt to get them through mundane Mondays, we bring you food jokes! Read, laugh, pause, lather, rinse, repeat.
Q: What did one tired root vegetable say to the other?
A: I'm beet!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, and we'll tell you!
Signs you're drinking too much coffee:
- You got a speeding ticket...while parked.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You go to AA meetings for the free coffee.
- You run 20 miles on the treadmill before realizing it's not plugged in.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
Customer (after spilling soup in his lap): Waiter, there's a soup in my fly!
Customer: Bring me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with ketchup.
This guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head, and the bartender asks him, "What can I do for you?"
The duck responds, "Get this guy out of my ass!"
Okay, so maybe the last one wasn't food-related. Shut up, no one cares you butthead. Happy Monday! (These jokes were pulled from various sites using something called Google.)
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| You know what else is funny? YOUR FACE! |
Verdict: hilarious
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