Restaurant Review: Waterzooi

It's pretty hard to make a bad Belgian bistro.  One of the primary reasons people come into these types of establishments is the unique beer selection, so by the time food arrives and people have thrown back a few brews with the alcohol content of moonshine, they're obviously going to be hungry for greasy, gourmet burgers and mountains of mussels doused in cream-based sauces.

But let's get one thing straight: it's exceedingly difficult to make a special Belgian bistro.  Beyond the beer and the food, there has to be a sense of soul.  You should feel as if you've been transported from whatever Yankee city you live in to the cultured streets of Belgium.  Also, it doesn't hurt if they spike your food with acid to keep you coming back.  In all seriousness, though, you want the pub to have character.  Your entrance should be countered with the pungent aroma of briny mussel juice and fresh-baked bread.  The wooden tables should be stained with beer, partially moistened by years and years of spilled aperitifs.  The people should be kind of snobby, but not as snobby as French people, so that your hate only festers and doesn't manifest as a punch to the nose.

Waterzooi, a Belgian bistro located in Garden City, NY (yes, Long Island), definitely delivers on the food, but unfortunately is a little lacking in the ambiance.  Of course, once your food arrives, you forget that you're seated on cushions that only Elvis could love.  The red velveteen fabric combined with the absurd paintings on the wall and the abnormally bright lighting screams "clowns!" more than it does "Belgian!"  Let's forgive these shortcomings for now, because 1) we are in the middle of nowhere (Long Island), and 2) Waterzooi makes up for it with its spectacular food.

I went to Waterzooi one night after work with some co-workers, one of whom had highly recommended this restaurant.  The first thing I noticed was the beer selection, which was extensive but not overwhelming.  For grub, I got the Homard, a pot of mussels cooked in cream with bits of lobster sprinkled throughout.  Part of me thinks this isn't fair.  You'd have to have several extra chromosomes to mess this type of dish up; but then again, I had never had mussels in a broth this good before.  By the way, do NOT make the rookie mistake of ordering anything else off of the menu.  The mussels come in a pot the size of a large dog.  Even though I was hungry, I still had enough leftover mussels to feed my four baby mommas.

Oh, and just so you know, here's the Wikipedia link to Waterzooi.  It's not that interesting; I think the name's just fun to say.  Waterzoooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.  Ahem.

You could put this on a car bumper, and it would taste good.

Verdict: 4.2 out of 5 Waterzoooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis