You Can't Be Serious

Because everyone needs a little jolt to get them through mundane Mondays, we bring you food jokes!  Read, laugh, pause, lather, rinse, repeat.

Q: What did one tired root vegetable say to the other?

A: I'm beet!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, and we'll tell you!

Signs you're drinking too much coffee:

- You got a speeding ticket...while parked.

- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

- You go to AA meetings for the free coffee.

- You run 20 miles on the treadmill before realizing it's not plugged in.

- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

Customer (after spilling soup in his lap): Waiter, there's a soup in my fly!

Customer: Bring me a hot dog.

Waiter: With pleasure.

Customer: No, with ketchup.

This guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head, and the bartender asks him, "What can I do for you?"

The duck responds, "Get this guy out of my ass!"

Okay, so maybe the last one wasn't food-related.  Shut up, no one cares you butthead.  Happy Monday! (These jokes were pulled from various sites using something called Google.)

You know what else is funny? YOUR FACE!

Verdict: hilarious

Food Freestyle

So since I didn't grace you guys with another restaurant review yesterday, I thought I'd reward everyone with a food freestyle.  Yes I'm gangsta.  No this isn't dorky.  Okay, fine, it's dorky.  By the way, my rap star alias is Peanut Butter.

Yo, Peanut Butter in the house, you smell me?
I got this on lock, other bloggers is mad jelly.
Takin' a bite out of the Big Apple, and then I spit it out.
Reviews so tight they stick to the roof of yo' mouth.

I'm hittin' up restaurants no matter if they classy or a dive.
I'm doing big things, other cats smaller than the portions at Press195.
Combination of humor and food, readers think is mad thrillin'.
Only combo these other bloggers seen is a pretzel with cheese fillin'.

Whether it's at Supper or lunch, you can be sure I'm gon' munch.
Or maybe I'll skip two meals, then go to Vesta and eat brunch.
Shout out to Queens, BK, BX, Staten Isle, LI, and of course the city.
I hope I don't eat too much and get diabetes :(.

Gangsta is as gangsta eats.

Verdict: gangsta