Restaurant Review: Koo Zee Doo

So today we're traveling outside the confines of New York City in order to bring you something special: a Philly flashback! Yours truly spent a recent weekend back in the City of Brotherly Not-Quite-Love-And-Probably-More-Like-Hate visting friends and, of course, having my fill of Philadelphia's incredible restaurants. People who know me think I'm crazy when I say that Philadelphia's food scene is better than NYC's, which is probably why they sprinkle antipsychotics in my cereal, but consider the advantages of world class chefs (Vetri, Garces, etc.) catering to a blue collar population. BYOs, cozy bistros, and food trucks litter the landscape, all while providing delicious and creative food at reasonable prices. NYC's counterparts are essentially cost-prohibitive for someone on a budget, like myself.

But let's get back to the crown jewel of this trip, or what I had initially thought was at least going to be a diamond in the rough. Koo Zee Doo is a Portugeuse restaurant in Northern Liberties, the Brooklyn of Philadelphia, so to speak. I have wanted to eat at this restaurant, which has quickly climbed everyone's best-of list, for years now, but I never crossed it off my bucket list when I lived in Philly. I decided to finally right this wrong. Now, understand when I say that I had built this restaurant up to proposterous proportions in my mind. Without ever having eaten a bite or having smelled a whiff of the food, KZD had become the stuff of legends, alongside Bigfoot, Atlantis, and Miley Cyrus in terms of its ability to amaze. Clearly, my expectations were not going to be met.

And so they weren't. KZD crashed and burned worse than 2011 Philadelphia Eagles (I had to). My fellow diner and I split the salt cod croquettes (I happen to love salt cod) and the shrimp in piri piri sauce. When someone says to you, "I'm going to deep fry one of your favorite things to eat," there would seem to be low probability that it could be bad. Hell, even deep fried ice cream works. Deep fried butter works, too. But for some reason, the croquettes were utterly forgettable. Soft on the outside, somewhat lacking in that intense seafood flavor expected out of salt cod, and pretty average overall, I was annoyed enough at the outcome to throw one of the croquettes at the nearby bartender. The shrimp in piri piri sauce, while fun to say, were also average. You'll see that the word "average" comes up a lot in my description of KZD's food, and I suspect that's because I was expecting creative food with strong flavors, even if KZD was serving up traditional Portugeuse grub. The entree, a highly recommended baked duck rice, was large enough for two people, with well-cooked duck and a Portugeuse version of dirty rice. Typical, mediocre, commonplace, ordinary. Yeah, average.

[PICTURE COMING SOON!]

Verdict: 3.6 (Can you believe it?) out of 5 delusions of grandeur